There’s no best without worst, so I’m giving you the worst of the worst in movies of 2016.
There are no dishonorable mentions this time around because… Well, I’m not a movie critic snob and there were no overflow of disastrous movies for this year (not where I’m from, anyway),so what you’re about to see here are the movies I thoroughly and undoubtedly HATED from this year.
Enjoy! NUMBER 10: First time I saw it, it was alright.
Then I re-watched it, and all the good ideas I initially thought this movie had went down the drain because of the sheer boredom in between shots.
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Sorry, young adults, but “ALLEGIANT” sucked.
Good thing the next one won’t make it into theaters or we’d be in for a world of pain.
NUMBER 9: How hard it is to make a movie based off of a video game? Well, according to pretty much every film maker ever, it seems to be rocket science.
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No, it’s not Warcraft, which at least had some decent story and pretty like able characters, but “ASSASSIN’S CREED”, a movie made of a game that’s not exactly for everyone, written by people who don’t seem to understand that fact, and directed by someone who thinks real life is better than simulation, when the game is the other way around.
NUMBER 8: This one is more of a personal pick and it happened to come across while I was working at a local movie theater as an usher.
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Not many people know of its existence, and that’s a good thing, because “ROBINSON CRUSOE’ is a testament to future filmmakers that you can’t just make a 3D animated movie with virtually no plot and expect children all over the world to like it.
NUMBER 7: Speaking of expectations, I don’t know what I was expecting when I walked into “ZOOLANDER 2?, but I do know what I felt when I walked out: A sickness in my stomach, a ringing in my ears and an unquestionable hatred for the cartoonish performances, stupid humor and overall unlikable quote unquote“plot” that this movie had.
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Unnecessary, gross and infuriating, Zoolander2 can suck a bag of dicks.
NUMBER 6; Honestly, the only reason I don’t put number 6 higher up on the list is because I liked the guy in the black costume so much that I can’t wait to see an entire movie made out of him, especially if it’s directed by the actor who played him, but the rest of “BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE” is a convoluted mess, with Jesse Eisenberg throwing away his Academy Award winning nominations THE worst Lex Luthor ever put on screen, Henry Cavil still being an uninteresting piece of Superman, and so many characters that REALLY didn’t need to be there.
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That’s not how you catch up to Marvel, DC.
NUMBER 5: I ain’t even gonna put any more effort onto a quip for this one than the entirety of the people who worked on “INDEPENDENCE DAY: RESURGENCE” did.
pic: medium.com
A lazy cash-grab missing their best man, this movie had sloppy performances everywhere, mediocre action, stupid attempts at comedy and a Mary Jane-induced self-delusion if they actually believe they’re gonna make anymore sequels out of this… ergh… FRANCHISE.
NUMBER 4: Remember on my Top 10 best movies where I said I hate David Yates? Well, THERE’S NO JK ROWLING TO SAVE YOU NOW, YOU PIECE OF SHIT.
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“THE LEGEND OF TARZAN” was yet another example of what happens when you give the director’s chair to someone who doesn’t know how pacing works, how to treat death sequences and when to make calls that would otherwise detract from the movie, for example, STITCHES MADE WITH ANTS!
NUMBER 3: Curiosity killed the cat, as they say, and like my eponymous cartoonist counterpart, I couldn’t resist taking a look into “NORM OF THE NORTH” when I first heard how terrible it was.
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It’s an animated film about a twerking polar bear in New York City, played by Rob Schneider.
Much like Batman V Superman, I didn’t put this film higher on the list because I understand it wasn’t for me, and kids around the globe seem to like this sort of stupid humor, much like on, say the Angry Birds movie.
Norm of the North still sucks, though.
Don’t watch it.
NUMBER 2: If there’s one thing I hate more than David Yates, it’s political correctness, and within the PC agenda, I hate feminism the most, which is why I feel so TRIGGERED by the new “GHOSTBUSTERS” reboot.
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You couldn’t just make another fucking Bridesmaids,now could you, Paul Feig.
You had to bring one of the most iconic franchises in all of movie history, down to your stupid, post-modern, pro-feminist, misandrist garbage.
If there’s one thing I’d like to give credit to for this movie is Leslie Jones’ character.
I can’t say I’m a big fan of the actress,especially after her Twitter scandal, but the character in the film was pretty dope;she was down to earth, genuinely funny and full of personality, and I liked that.
Even then, however, the character was racially stereotyped as a street-smart as opposed to most of the white female scientists on this film, which pretty much confirms that this movie didn’t have a clear target on their mind: It’s not for Ghostbusters fans, it’s not for causal audiences, and it’s not even for PC cunts, but at least it had ONE salvageable thing, UNLIKE THE FOLLOWING.
NUMBER 1: This one may seem like an oddball to some of you, so let me try and explain, to the best of my abilities, why I hate this one so much: It’s a sequel.
An unnecessary sequel, mind you, like most of the things on this list, but a sequel nonetheless, and it was supposed to be a comedy, which,according to IMDB, was not that bad.
pic: theworldofmovies.com
I’ve enjoyed movies that have had a lower score than that… So I walked into “MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING 2? thinking I was gonna have a good time.
Little did I know that I’d be tortured for 94 minutes with some of the most annoying, in-your-face characters I’ve ever fucking seen in my 27 short years of life.
By the 30-minute mark I was cringing in the solitary corner of my movie theater every time any of the characters opened their mouth,mainly because all they said was GREEK GREEK GREEK GREEK GREEK GREEK.
Then they put a Greek gover of Billy Joel’s White Wedding Part 1 and I started throwing popcorn at my face.
There is absolutely NOTHING good about My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2.
Please, do yourselves a favor and don’t EVER watch this film.
EVER.