"This is crazy," Igor thought. It was five in the morning. It was still a couple hours before dawn. His cat, Vaska, was already demanding food, running around the room and screaming. Igor had no choice but to get out of bed and go and feed his pet. With sleepy eyes he did nothing but yawn. When he reached the kitchen without opening his eyes, Igor took the pate out of the refrigerator, put the kettle on, sat down on a chair to open the jar, and fell asleep.
Two hours passed. Vaska sat on his master's head and started tapping the back of his head with his paws. Igor woke up immediately. The cat jumped to the floor and mewed.
- Vaska? What happened?
Igor looked around and realized that he had never opened the jar of pate.
- I got it. Sorry, I'm an idiot. I fell asleep and forgot all about you.
Vasky meowed in response and, rubbing himself against his master's legs, waited for a treat. This time Igor didn't fall asleep - he scooped out the contents of the jar and poured it into Vaska's bowl. While the cat enjoyed the tasty pate, Igor decided to wash up. It was already getting light outside. There wasn't much time to prepare before the working day, so he hurried. Going into the bathroom, Igor remembered that he had forgotten to turn on the kettle. He rushed back to the kitchen and almost tripped over Vaska....
- Have you already eaten it all? - Igor asked in surprise.
Vaska was washing his face and paid no attention to his master. Igor poured out the old water from the kettle, turned on the faucet to draw new water, but there was no water - neither hot nor cold, no water at all. Running for the phone in the bedroom, he hoped to find an explanation in the home chat room, but there was no internet either. Then Igor tried to turn on the light, but there was no light either. Puzzled, Igor sat down on a chair in the bedroom and muttered:
- I don't understand anything...
A little while later, he ran back to the kitchen, opened the window and looked out at the passers-by... who were not there either. Not understanding anything, he looked at Vaska again, but he was already asleep. Then Igor decided to go outside to make sure it wasn't a dream.
There really was no one outside. No cars, no people - not even birds, and those were gone. Igor shouted:
- People! Anybody there?!
But there was only silence. So he decided to walk a little farther. Every day he went to a local cafe and got a coffee and a small sandwich on his way to work. Only this time there was no one there. Igor sat down on the curb - he felt dizzy. He couldn't understand what was happening, couldn't explain it to himself. He shook his head and wondered what to do next. He was sitting in only his bathrobe and slippers. Under the robe - thin pajamas, and outside the wind was penetrating to the bones. Igor decided that he should go back and change his clothes. And then we'll see. Just as he was about to go home, he noticed a skyscraper standing nearby.
- I don't remember that," he muttered.
I came closer and was stunned. Inside, corporate employees in gray suits were scurrying back and forth like ants.
Igor turned and was about to go home, but suddenly someone called out to him:
- Hey! Where are you going?
Igor turned around reluctantly. Behind him stood a typical clerk, wearing glasses, with a bald spot and a big belly.
- Do I know you? - Igor asked.
- Come on, we work in the same department. Have you forgotten?
- What's your name?
- Matvey Stepanovich.
- I don't understand...
Thinking about it, Igor wandered on, but Matvey Stepanovich stopped him and said:
- Have you seen the time? They're waiting for you! Let's go!
Without explaining anything, Matvey Stepanovich dragged Igor into the building. It was bright and warm inside. Igor looked around like he was mesmerized: everything seemed huge and expensive.
The elevator doors opened, they went inside and went to the thirtieth floor. His boss was already waiting for Igor in the "Paperwork" department. Igor had never seen him before in his life. A stately man with a small beard and thick hair was arguing with one of his subordinates when Matvey Stepanovich came up to say hello.
- Chief, good morning! I've brought Igor as you asked.
The Warden turned around, was silent for a moment, and then asked:
- Why are you in your robe?
- I don't even know what to tell you. I got up this morning, and I look up, and, uh.
- That's enough. Why don't you go to Lisa's office and she'll give you the documents? You'll need to take them to law enforcement. They'll give you a box, bring it to me. Do you understand?
- Who's Lisa?
- Are you kidding? - The warden squinted his eyes.
- This is our secretary," Matvey Stepanovich explained.
Igor nodded and, at Matvei Stepanovich's prompting, set off in Liza's direction. She was sitting at the table, all on her phone. She didn't even look at him, only glanced at him when Igor took the documents and went to the elevator, and asked:
- What are you doing in your robe?
- I got up this morning, and I look over, and there's.....
- Oh, I see," Lisa interrupted him and continued digging through her phone.
While Igor waited for the elevator, he decided to inquire:
- Where do I need to go downstairs? Where's that, uh, security department or...
- Law Enforcement," Lisa corrected him, sighing heavily. - You're on the minus hundredth floor.
- Minus a hundred?! What's that?
But he got no more answer. The elevator arrived. Igor went inside, and there was a man sitting on a stool reading a newspaper.
- Which one do you want? - the man asked.
- Minus a hundredth," Igor replied.
Putting aside the newspaper, the man inserted the key into the control panel and typed "-100" floor on the screen. The doors closed, and the elevator went down.
- Have a seat, it's a long drive.
Igor sat down on the second stool and a little while later said:
- Can you imagine, I got up this morning, and I look over, and there's...
- Bastards! That's how it is, eh? - shouted the man, pointing to Igor's article in the newspaper.
Igor read the paragraph the man was pointing at: "The city decided to demolish the museum to Andrei Dudka, a famous dudka musician. As the mayor's office informed us, a new shopping center and a multi-story parking lot will be opened on the museum's site very soon."
- Outrage! - the man was indignant.
Then he added:
- Why are you in your robe?
- I was gonna tell you all about it, and you interrupted me. Well, what I'm saying is.
The elevator doors opened and the man shouted:
- Minus 100, who's on minus 100?
Deciding that there was nothing to be done, Igor took the stack of documents and went to the floor. What surprised him most was the difference in the interior. At this depth, everything was furnished to the highest standards: mahogany, marble floors, and a glass ceiling. It seemed to him that it was even better here than on the surface. As he walked a few steps, the question arose in his mind, "Where to next?"
- Are you here to see Stepan Nikolayevich? - A tall lady suddenly emerged from the shadows and asked.
The woman looked like a praying mantis: very tall, with long limbs and a sharp nose.
- I don't know. I was given these papers to bring here. They said they were supposed to give me a box in exchange.
- Not another word! Follow me.
They walked down a darkened corridor lined with desks with computers. A worker sat at each desk and worked, typing something on a keyboard without paying attention to the surrounding noise. The corridor, apart from the workers, seemed strange to Igor because they kept turning somewhere. At one point Igor even decided to make a joke and said:
- It's like a maze, isn't it? It's dizzying.
- I don't understand. What are you trying to say?
- It was a joke...
- I see," the lady said without turning around.
There was an awkward silence. The woman said nothing more. Only when they reached their destination did she want to tell Igor that they had arrived, but he ruined everything by crashing through the clear glass door. The woman rolled her eyes, showed something to Stepan Nikolayevich and left. With his face red with shame, Igor went inside. For a while, like a guilty child, he stared at the floor and remained silent.
- Give me the documents and stay as long as you like! - Stepan Nikolayevich demanded.
Igor immediately came to his senses. He handed Stepan Nikolayevich a stack of documents and, sitting down in his chair, wanted to apologize for what had happened, but didn't have time. They put the box in front of him and said:
- Take this to the 30th. You'll come back with a receipt.
- Okay...
Just as he was about to go out, Stepan Nikolayevich called out to him:
- No, no, where are you going? Let's go to the mine.
Stepan Nikolayevich opened a hatch in the floor and, waving his hand, told Igor: "Climb!" Without thinking, he climbed down the ladder and only then asked:
- What's that for?
- You see... we don't have the most exemplary contingent working here. They might get interested, take it, and then reprimand me. So go ahead, take the box and go all the way to the end. There'll be an elevator there.
- But...
Before Igor could say anything, the hatch above his head was closed tightly. There wasn't much room in the tunnel. He even had to crawl on all fours to avoid hitting his head on the ceiling. There was another ladder waiting for him at the end, he climbed up, knocked on the hatch, and was let out. It was the same woman, she helped Igor with the box, summoned an elevator for him and quickly sent him to the thirtieth floor. Inside the elevator, this time, there was no one. However, Igor was not bored, because something interesting happened: someone's voice came from the box. He was so frightened that he didn't even dare to look at the contents of the box. But the voice was demanding and kept saying, "Please let me out!" Igor reluctantly opened the lid and saw the head of an old man with a gray beard and a small amount of gray hair on his head.
- Don't yell, I have a headache today!
- What--what are you? Where's your... body?
- I left him," the head said with obvious displeasure.
- What do you mean?
- That's how it is! I'm tired of working from morning till night. I'm a hundred years old, and I'm still putting papers in corners. I need a vacation, you know?
- No...
- You can see it, the look on his face.
- My name is Igor," he introduced himself carefully.
- Call me Gena.
- Just Gena?
- Well, why not? And to save time, I want to ask you something: will you help the old man?
- And specifically?
- I need to go to the 35th floor. Can you take it?
- Well, okay. What do you want?
- What's with all the "ah-ha-ha", huh? Come on, since you agreed to help, without further ado.
***
The thirty-fifth floor was not ordinary: everything was brightly lit, posters with picturesque landscapes were hanging everywhere, and very calm, lulling music was playing in the background. Gena told Igor that he needed to find room 202. But Igor was not in the mood and began to wonder, "What am I doing here?"
- Hey, can you hear me? - Gena asked.
- I can hear you. But I have other things on my mind right now.
- You're probably wondering how I got to this point, aren't you?
- What about you? - Igor pointed at the ceiling.
- Ugh, no, of course not! I'm just a head. I don't make sense. But I can tell you one thing for sure, this is not a dream.
- Then what's a nightmare?
- Wrong!
- You know what?! I'm not gonna play this game. If you have something to say, say it.
- I think you need to rest. Let's go to the break room and I'll tell you all about it.
Igor was motivated. He really wanted to understand what it all meant and why he had been brought here. So, after a short search, he managed to find room 202. It was marked in red on the floor plan, which meant that it was impossible to get there without a key. But Gena said that he shouldn't worry about that, and he knew how to get in. When they got to the door, Gena asked Igor to take it and put his forehead against the control panel. Igor grudgingly complied with the request, and the door did indeed open. Inside was a real paradise: a pleasant breeze was blowing, thick grass was growing all around, and in the distance they could see rocky mountains with snow on the very tops. Igor lay down on the grass with great pleasure and stretched out and said:
- Even though it all sounds like a delusion, I'm so glad I was able to be here.
- For some reason, I thought so. I bet you work hard, don't you?
- Yeah, I have a weakness.
- Hmmm... you seem to love this business.
- Me? Oh, no, of course not.
- Then it's about the money, hmm?
- It's always about money, but... You know, I've always had a dream: to open my own manga store.
- So why didn't you open it?
- I don't have enough money, no matter how much I save. And I don't want to take out a loan. I already have a cat, Vaska, who needs to be fed.
- What if I gave you money right now? Would you go after your dream?
- Yeah...I guess.
- Heh-heh, you're an interesting man. I'm offering you money, and you're so insecure.
- Honestly, I don't know what I want to do. Maybe to work in an office, or maybe to keep a store. In general, I would like to have money and just sit and do what I like to do.
- So the store is an unloved business?
- I don't know what to say. It's my favorite thing to do, but my real dream is on a whole other level. I want to draw manga, but I don't have the time.
- Then I'll say it again: if I gave you money, would you follow your dream?
- Drawing manga, yes! I'm ready! But what's the use of sleeping with a talking head? What money? I just need to figure out how to get out of here.
- But it's not a dream.
- You've said it before, but I don't believe you.
A fresh breeze blew, the grass rustled. Igor fell asleep... He began to remember Vaska, and thoughts of him tormented him more and more. He felt guilty that he hadn't taken him with him, hadn't left more food. In time his conscience tormented him completely, so he got up abruptly, stretched and said:
- Well, I guess that's enough for today. Let's go to the boss!
- I don't want to go back!
- What are you, like a little kid?
- I'll be forced to work again, and I don't want that," Gena said with a wistful look on his face.
- Well, what do you suggest I do? I can't leave you here.
- That's right too, especially since I'm already hungry. But let's go straight to the fiftieth floor, there's no time to waste!
Igor took the box in his hands, closed the lid and went to the fiftieth floor. This time he decided to walk up the stairs, so that he wouldn't run into anyone. Fortunately, there really was no one in the stairwell. Gena had fallen asleep, sleeping peacefully in the box. Igor, puffing, went up the stairs. With each step he wanted to go home to Vaska more and more. When he finally reached the fiftieth floor, he took a deep breath before entering. When he calmed down, he pulled the knob, but nothing happened. The door was locked. Igor tried again, but the door wouldn't budge. Just as he was about to leave, someone opened the door from the other side. Igor turned around and immediately realized it was Gena's body.
Apparently, Gena felt his body and woke up. His hands reached for the box, opened the lid, and pulled his head out. Two turns and the head was back in its place. Gena sighed heavily, coughed, and called Igor inside. The fiftieth floor turned out to be one solid office - the place where Gena had been working for fifty years.
- Symbolic, isn't it? - Gena asked. - I chose this floor on the anniversary of my work in this company. I kicked everyone out and declared that this was now my floor! You should have seen the faces of my colleagues, you could die laughing. How angry they looked at me. Even though I've spent my whole life here...
Gena escorted Igor to a chair, asked him to sit down and then asked:
- You don't want to be like me, watching the light bulb from morning till night, do you?
- I wouldn't want to.
- Then listen to me carefully: I will give you as much money as you need to realize your dream. But you have to promise me something - don't make my mistake, quit your job.
- But... I can't just quit. What will my family say about me? If I leave a good company and start drawing manga, no one will understand me.
- They won't understand now, but in time, when you get your way, they'll envy you.
- You think so?
- You bet! Look, Igor, I know what I'm talking about. My parents put me on this path once, the path of the corporate worker. I couldn't say anything. They had such high hopes for me. And what happened? I'm here, working even after my death.
- What?!" Igor exclaimed.
- Shh, you're all right. I just needed to give you a warning.
- So you're the reason I'm here?
- That's right.
Igor looked around, got up from his chair and walked around the floor to make sure he really understood what had happened to him. It was only when he looked out the window and saw the emptiness that he realized that his life had long been a series of corridors and desks, corporate meetings and endless reports. He turned around and said with confidence in his voice:
- I'm in!
- Hehehe, you should have refused me," Gena said with a smile on his face.
- Then what would have happened if I hadn't agreed?
- It's okay. You'd be in the office 24 hours a day. You'd have all kinds of bad thoughts... But let's not talk about the bad things. Close your eyes.
- Wait, so this is a dream after all?
- I can't explain it to you, I just can't, okay? Come on, close your eyes.
A faint, cold breeze blew, the noise of humming fans and perpetual chatter came on, and my eyes blurred in front of me. My head was splitting. Igor was lying on the floor, and his colleagues were standing around him. When he woke up, they helped him up. Putting him in a chair, they gave him tea. After a little rest, he was able to get up on his own. When he decided to go to wash his face, he met his boss Semyon Markovich on the way. The latter showed him to his office and said: "Let's go!"
Igor went inside, closed the door behind him and sat down in the chair, waiting to see what his boss would say to him. His head still hurt.
- I know what happened, and we as a company are sorry to see this kind of condition in our employees. We wouldn't want it to be publicized. Do you know what I'm talking about? - Semyon Markovich asked, pointing to the cash case.
- I... Wait, is that for me?
- You just need to sign something, okay?
- Of course!
Igor put his signature wherever it was necessary. Then he was handed the briefcase with the money, and he was about to go out into the corridor to see Vaska and generally think about what had happened, but... The law enforcers burst into the office with guns drawn and, shouting loudly, threw him and his boss to the floor. Igor's boss tried to explain something, but he was ordered to keep quiet, handcuffed and quickly escorted out of the office. Then it was Igor's turn. His heart was already beating like crazy, and then they shoved a gun in his face and said:
- Get up!
Igor stood up, was handcuffed and led out of the building. His colleagues looked at the commotion with wide-open eyes. No one even said a word, they were silent as they watched Igor, who had just woken up from fainting, being taken away to an unknown destination.
***
Igor never got any money. At least they gave him a spacious cell. Even Vaska was taken in after long negotiations with his superiors. He was given ten years for taking a bribe. Every day was on a schedule: first gymnastics, then labor, then free time. Some watched movies, some read. But Igor spent all his free time drawing manga. Of course, he was upset that he would have to sit in a cell for ten years. But, on the other hand, he would have time to learn and do a lot during that time.
Letter to Gena:
Someone once asked me, "If you could go back in time, would you fix anything in your life?" I always answered, "No!" Why would I? If at the end of the day, I wouldn't be who I am. If I fixed my mistakes, I would never realize what my fault was. In short, life is full of absurdity. And if you think that such things cannot happen to you, it is better not to be so categorical. You have to think outside the box. You never know what could happen.